The little things

During my pregnancy, I focused on weeks. This is how many weeks pregnant I was or this is how many more weeks to go before birth. Then came the touch of cancer and chemo. My focus then switched to number of treatments. Having a total of 16 treatments, the countdown was on. I think that during the months of January and February the countdown kept me sane. I focused on marking each treatment off as I finished them.
But somewhere along the way, I lost the joys of today by focusing on the future. Now I know it is pretty cliche that now that I have cancer I am appreciating each day for the little things, but I am. When I was working, I focused on getting a project done, booking savings, going on vacation, living for the weekends. When I was in school it was all about getting done with school- how many classes do I have left. Well, now I am trying to enjoy the little things. Everyday that I am home with Wes and Alexandra is a treat. Soon enough I will be back at work and juggling treatment, motherhood and working. Everyday I go out and at least look at my garden- the peonies have popped through the dirt, the tulips are going to open and I have a whole bunch of stuff that I have no idea what it will be. Exciting.

One of my joys are Mondays. Alexandra and I hang out with my brother and my 9 month old nephew- Maxwell on Mondays because Michael works Tuesday-Friday. As you can see by the pictures, Max and Alex get along pretty well. Max is definitely getting used to the girls being around. Yesterday Max and I were busy dancing and playing with his toys. It is awesome when kids smile at you because they are having so much fun.

This new attitude of enjoying the little things does not come easily. I am too task oriented for my own good- the garden that I admire is backed up with a huge to-do list. And the chemo countdown still exists- 6 more to go- but I am trying not to lose track of the six days in between.