Cereal killer...

Alex just had quasi-solid food for the first time!! Now that she is four months old, and recovered from the shots, she is starting to learn how to eat solid food - first up, super soupy rice cereal.



She took to it right away and opened up for the spoon. She seemed to enjoy it, although she didn't quite know what to do with it once it was in her mouth. Also, her little tongue, which never stops finding it's way out of her mouth, was pushing it right back out.

She didn't eat much but she enjoyed it and is happy as could be. Rock 'n roll!

Alexandra is thriving!

Well at least that is what the doctor said at her 4 month checkup yesterday. We did the standard measurements and here are her stats:

Height: 25.75 inches

Weight: 15 lbs. 1 ounce

Head: 16.4 in

What does this mean? Well the growth chart puts her in the 90th percentile for length, 75th for weight and head circumference. Basically what all this means is that we got the green light to start her on rice cereal.

Other topics that were covered during the visit:

• Her eczema has improved with the cream
• Her development is on track- smiling, cooing, grabbing
• She does not roll over yet
• She does like to stand up

A note on that topic- I am pretty sure that the doctor did not believe me when I said that she liked to stand up. I think she thought that I was just being boastful. Then she had her on her back and grabbed Alex's arms and up she went into a standing position. The doctor's eyes went all big and she said that she never had seen a baby do that at 4 months old. She marveled at her strength and said that she would be sitting up in no time. So she can't roll over but she likes to stand. I want Alex to be off the charts in all her developmental stuff but she is her own person and has no interest in being on her belly- even if it is just to roll over on her back.

Oh, yeah and then there were Alex's shots- she had 4. We gave her Tylenol before we left and I think that helped because she did cry but not for very long. I think it was more traumatic for Wes and I. She was not her usual happy self yesterday afterwards. Her appetite was less and she was just unhappy. Our friend Amy came over and cuddled with her so she received some special attention. Today she is back to her happy self- and eating.

Feeding trend...

We are on our way to the doctor for Alex's 4 month well-baby check up (shots!). We may be starting to give her cereal if the doc gives the thumbs up. I, of course, will be bringing detailed notes for this discussion...

Here is the feeding trend for 3/19-4/27. Daily quantities have really normalized around 30-33 ounces and her schedule is rock solid. She knows when she is scheduled to eat and is like an alarm clock if we lose track of time. I think she's ready to start in on some real food.

Chemo 2.7: The Waiting Game

Off once again to chemo... we might as well have been stuck in traffic. We went to grab a couple sandwiches to go (this is our new thing, we take our lunch with us to give us something to do while we sit there), and the line was long, the service slow, and we were irritated. Finally make it to the hospital and we have to wait in line to get Michele's blood drawn. No big deal. Then we wait to be called back to the chemo room. And we wait. And wait.

The whole time we can't help but eavesdrop on the two older ladies next to us complaining about all the things that have changed since they were young. Did you know you can't even smoke in restaurants? And you have to wear seatbelts? And kids, even if they're in the backseat, have to wear seatbelts! "Why, when we had kids, we would throw them in the bed of the pickup with the dog, some bottle rockets, a road flare, and some chewing gum and head for the UP and they were fine." We were cracking up.

Finally, after 45 minutes of waiting Michele asked what the hold up was. Apparently they were short a nurse and running behind. Ugh.

Eventually we got in and got a semi-private space. Michele got her warm up drugs (steroids, Zantac, Benadryl), and then we were waiting on the pharmacy to get her chemo drugs ready. Yes, they were running behind too. Ugh. We had a nurse whom we had not had before, Karen. She was quite nice, but was not gentle when she pushed in Michele's steroids and Benadryl. Usually they push it slow... a little at a time. She just pushed it in, leaving Michele pretty looped for a little while.

After that things started to roll along. Drugs, drugs, drugs. We had our lunch, talked, read, and for the first time at chemo Michele actually got a little sleep. We were off in a corner alone so she was able to relax and take a quick nap, which she needed.

There was a lot of waiting, but we got out of there around five and ahead home to have dinner and play with the little one. Michele seems to have slept OK last night, so hopefully she will feel good today and get to work in her garden. Rock 'n roll.

Screamy Mimi...

So, have I mentioned the screaming thing yet? Last week Alex realized that she could scream at the top of her lungs anytime... not just when she's upset. Happy? Scream! Something funny? Scream! The sun came up? Scream!


Luckily she is so adorable that it's bearable. I find myself getting in to screaming contests with her. I'm right in her face, she screams, I scream., she screams, I scream. It's hilarious to both of us... and nobody else in the house.

I might be creating a monster.

The little things

During my pregnancy, I focused on weeks. This is how many weeks pregnant I was or this is how many more weeks to go before birth. Then came the touch of cancer and chemo. My focus then switched to number of treatments. Having a total of 16 treatments, the countdown was on. I think that during the months of January and February the countdown kept me sane. I focused on marking each treatment off as I finished them.
But somewhere along the way, I lost the joys of today by focusing on the future. Now I know it is pretty cliche that now that I have cancer I am appreciating each day for the little things, but I am. When I was working, I focused on getting a project done, booking savings, going on vacation, living for the weekends. When I was in school it was all about getting done with school- how many classes do I have left. Well, now I am trying to enjoy the little things. Everyday that I am home with Wes and Alexandra is a treat. Soon enough I will be back at work and juggling treatment, motherhood and working. Everyday I go out and at least look at my garden- the peonies have popped through the dirt, the tulips are going to open and I have a whole bunch of stuff that I have no idea what it will be. Exciting.

One of my joys are Mondays. Alexandra and I hang out with my brother and my 9 month old nephew- Maxwell on Mondays because Michael works Tuesday-Friday. As you can see by the pictures, Max and Alex get along pretty well. Max is definitely getting used to the girls being around. Yesterday Max and I were busy dancing and playing with his toys. It is awesome when kids smile at you because they are having so much fun.

This new attitude of enjoying the little things does not come easily. I am too task oriented for my own good- the garden that I admire is backed up with a huge to-do list. And the chemo countdown still exists- 6 more to go- but I am trying not to lose track of the six days in between.

Daddy Haiku

tagged on right shoulder,
nowhere for me to hide now
white stain marks me dad.

Busy day...

Miss Alexandra had a pretty busy day today... which lead to a very good nap. She got up at a reasonable hour and we played, played, played. Then it was off to brunch. With all the delicious goodies available, she somehow found her shoe irresistible. Yum. Then we headed home and she showed great patience while smiley, giggling, and being generally cute for another one of my impromptu photo shoots. I'm amazed she doesn't hate the camera yet. Finally it was outside to hang out with Michele. Alex loves being outside when it's nice and had a great time talking (screaming) to Michele. Then Michele went to work in her garden. Meltdown. If the neighbors didn't know we had a baby... they do now.

Chemo 2.6

Finally a nice day on chemo day. It was beautiful outside and Michele got to spend some time working in her garden (spring clean up!) before we had to pack up and head to the hospital.

Pretty average day at chemo. Phlebotomist, check in, wait. We drew Patti as our nurse (she was the nurse we had our first time there) and settled in to a semi-private area. Drugs, drugs, drugs. Michele was pretty tired when we got there, and the Benadryl made her very sleepy. Of course she wouldn't sleep because there were too many people to eavesdrop on.

No Viking Mike. No Jabba. But, rest assured, there is never a shortage of characters at chemo. Just in the three stations closest to us there was:

* An older gentleman who told the nurse he was very tired. He was a diabetic. "What have you eaten today?" inquires the perky nurse. "A donut."
"That's it?"
"A donut."
"What did you eat yesterday?"
"I think I had some soup."
This went on for a while. She had to come around and wake him up (SNORING!!) and force him to eat. We don't feel so bad about the burgers we had last night.

* A very nice lady who apparently had brain surgery recently. Quite pleasant, but without full use of her vocabulary yet. Most questions were answered with an enthusiastic "Okey dokey". Adorable.

* A gentleman with a port in his chest that needed to be flushed out. We actually don't know what was happening. All we saw was a tube coming out of his chest and what appeared to be blood flowing in to big glass bottles. I thought we were back in the 1300's and it was a good old fashion blood letting to relieve him of evil humors. It was interesting, perplexing, and gross.

Overall, a pretty normal day at chemo. Boring, weird, and somewhat fun. Then it was home to hang out with Alex and celebrate Carmen's birthday.

Six more sessions to go... Rock 'n Roll!

Parenthood...

It dawns on me that parenthood is all about perspective. Alexandra is a great baby, but that doesn't stop us from freaking out every day. I get upset when she doesn't sleep in as late as I think she needs to... meanwhile she is 3-1/2 months old and sleeps 10-12 hours a night. Every week Michele reads to me from multiple books about what Alex should be able to do now and I always find a problem (Oh crap, she isn't picking her nose and eating it!)... but she is progressing great and ahead of the curve if anything. She doesn't take long naps during the day, just 30-45 minutes at a pop... still, it isn't like she is tired and cranky all the time, she wakes up happy and smiley and ready to eat/play. Perspective.

Today we called the pediatrician because Alex has had a rash on her chest on and off, and has been spitting up frequently. The doctor seemed almost amused. The rash, she told us, is most likely excema. Most babies in cold climates get it at one point or another to some extent. Here's some OTC cream to apply, keep an eye on it, no big deal. All babies spit up. Her esophagus isn't fully developed, so if she has too much to eat, has some pressure on belly, burps, sneezes, farts (you get the picture) some stomach content just bubbles to the surface. If she isn't uncomfortable and there is no force behind the backwash ( I could tell you a story about a laser beam of partially digested milk, but I'll save it for later), then it's no big deal. We are those first time parents that we said we wouldn't be. Perspective.

We had originally planned to both go back to work and start her in daycare at the beginning of April. Plans changed, everything changed, after the diagnosis. Even after all the tears, the long days at chemo, the nausea, sleepless nights, and worry it is a real blessing that we get to spend a little more time hanging out with her than we anticipated. Perspective.

Before we get to the next chemo session...

We need to recap last week's chemo.

My best friend Jen flew up from Dallas for chemo. I had a doctor's appointment prior to treatment. During the appt., I asked about life after breast cancer. What tests will I need and am I more likely to have another type of cancer. The doctor said that she does not recommend scans because of the exposure to radiation. Because I am a bit younger she may do blood tests but the recommendation is to use traditional tools- monthly self exam and mammograms. She says that her recommendation is focusing on life on not on cancer- good suggestion.

The treatment went well. As you can see in the background of the picture, Jabba was sitting next to me- seriously snoring. The crazy thing is that she went to the restroom and was having trouble breathing by the time she came back. The nurse asked if she had breathing issues over the last week and she admitted that she had. Uuummmmm, yeah we are having serious drugs pumped into us on a weekly basis and that is a pretty serious side effect that the doctor's would want to know about. So she went to the ER.

It was great having Jen here. Last time she was in town, she was here for AC and she commented how much better I am looking during this treatment. 7 more to go....but more on that thought later.

Alexandra's new skills

In the last week, Alexandra has developed some new skills.

The first is that she now all about putting things in her mouth. She typically has her hands in her mouth but as this picture shows, she likes putting her stuffed animals in her mouth as well.




The second skill is her ability to bring her knees up to her chest. Now I really didn't think that this was a skill that would be worth mentioning before motherhood, but now it seems so cool that she makes herself into a little ball. She seems to get so much enjoyment from grabbing her feet. Now the next phase is going to be her combining these two skills into one- eating her feet.

Running circles around cancer!

To all members, and prospective members, of Michele's Melee:

The For Women Only 5K is coming up in a little over a month and we are getting excited. There are over 20 women scheduled to run/walk with Michele and a bunch of women, men, and kids ready to cheer them on from the sidelines. If you are planning to join us, and haven't yet let me know, please drop me an email so that I can add you to the list. Don't forget to sign up for the race if you are going to participate.

With a ton of help from Cheri Lantz and Ian Nagy we are getting close to ordering t-shirts. They will probably be white with pink & black artwork. Everyone and anyone are welcome to get a shirt whether you are running, cheering, or just supporting from afar. The actual cost of the shirts is probably going to be just under $20. We are asking for anyone wanting one to to throw in $20 and the excess, if there is any, will go into our charitable donation pot. If you are interested in t-shirts, please let me know how many and sizes ASAP so that we can get the order going and get them out to everyone before the race. We will deal with the $$$ the day of the race.

We have decided to direct our charitable donation to the Wellness Community of Southeast Michigan. The Wellness Community (TWC) is the largest and most comprehensive program in the country devoted solely to providing psychosocial and educational support to people with cancer, their caregivers and children – all free of charge. It is a wonderful facility that offers free counseling & support groups, as well as exercise, stress relief, and educational programs for cancer patients and their caregivers.

We are personally going to make a donation and hope to collect additional donations from our amazing support group to pass along a little bit of the goodwill that we have received in the last 4 months. We will be collecting donations to pool together on the day of the race. If you won't be able to attend, but want to participate with this great cause, please feel free to send us a check and we'll add it to the pot. Please don't feel obligated to donate, all of your support has already been more than we could ask for and we don't want to burden anyone.

We hope that this event will be fun for everyone. Please let me know if you have any questions or suggestions.

Feeling good...

Well, Michele must be feeling pretty good today!

While Alex is taking her morning nap in her swing, Michele is out doing landscaping and trimming back the bushes along the driveway.

Not only will this make our entrance look significantly better (and knock one more item off Michele's extensive to-do list) but she might actually be able to get her Suburban in down the drive without folding in the mirrors.

How cute are they both?

8 down, 8 to go...

Yesterday we went to session number 8... half of the chemo session are done... we're on the home stretch! Things are starting to get more and more routine. We seem to know everybody, know the system, know what's coming next.

This makes it a little more relaxing, and a little more boring. No doctor's appointment this week so it was right from blood draw to waiting room. There is a woman who has been there at the same time as us for the last few weeks. We couldn't help but notice that she has looked significantly worse (skinnier, more frail) every week. She has gone in four weeks from strolling in and sending her daughter to pick up sandwiches to needing help walking to the private bed that she needed. As we were waiting to be called in she started talking to Michele... asking how many more sessions she had. She went on to tell us that she had breast cancer in 2002, had a mastectomy, and seemed all clear. Now she has liver cancer and told us that the treatment was much, much worse. She looked at Michele with a very serious glare and said "...promise me that you will demand a full body scan every year, not just a blood test... demand it!" She said that her doctor just gave her blood tests and mammograms and that the cancer lie dormant, undetected in her liver. This was all very sobering.

Once we got in the treatment area it was the normal routine. We had a nurse whom we had not had before. She is from Scotland, so it was fun to just listen to her explain everything with her accent. The process flowed along, if a little slow, and we did our usual talking, eating, and eavesdropping. Michele did much better on the Benadryl this time and only acted a little drunk.

Michele was a little nauseous when we got home, but took a quick nap and felt a smidge better. Our friends Jay & Kay came up and made us dinner and hung out which helped to occupy her mind. She had a decent night sleep and seems to be ready to rock 'n roll this morning.

Feed me!

OK... daily feeding amounts are starting to be more consistent thanks to Alex's more rigid schedule. She now eats 6 times per day (all things being equal) at 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm, 8pm, and whenever she wakes up in the middle of the night. Average feedings were 4oz plus whatever she demanded, and then 6oz at bedtime. On 3/30 we upped average feedings to 5oz plus demand and just last night we increased bedtime feedings to 8oz (or whatever her tank can hold).

Rock 'n roll.

Big girl....

Alexandra is growing like a weed. I weighed her yesterday (using the very scientific weigh myself with her, weigh myself without her method) and I'm pretty sure she is a little over 14 pounds. Crazy! I'll work on some charts to help better explain her exponential growth.