Needing to see the light at the end of the tunnel

This week has been a bit rough mentally for me. I think it is because physically things are going well- just fatigue which I am used to. The mental thing has been getting me down. Specifically, how I do not feel like Michele....I say this because of more than just my hair loss. I don't feel mentally as sharp as I used to- chemo brain. I feel overweight- read that the average weight gain is 13 pounds through chemo. I also feel like I am going through early menopause- chemo pretty much forces that and in 5-15% under the age of 40 actually do go through menopause as a result of chemo. I look in the mirror and it is as if someone else is looking back at me....

I am realistic enough to realize how ridiculous I am being. I mean, my tumor is gone. But maybe because the fear is gone I am able to have my pity party. So I just need to focus on the next step because today is the last chemo!! And I am super excited about that.

We met with the Breast Surgeon yesterday. Dr. Beth Kimball was the doctor that did my biopsy in December and called me with the diagnosis on December 26th. She was pleased that the tumor was gone and explained that I would have a lumpectomy to go in and take out the clip that was inserted in January as a tumor locater. She also recommended a sentinel node biopsy. I have never shown any evidence of having cancer in my lymph nodes but because of the type of cancer- Invasive Ductal, Progesterone positive, HER2 positive, 4 cm Tumor, and high risk grade- they want to rule out that the cancer did not spread. To do this biopsy, they inject radioactive dye at the tumor location and it then gets absorbed into the nearest lymph node. The lymph node that absorbs the dye will be the node that would be the most likely one where the cancer would have spread. They will take this node out and verify that no cancer is present. So in summary, that is the surgery. It is planned for June 24th. Dr. Kimball mentioned how well I took the news about the cancer back in December- it seems like a blur when I think about that time but I told her thanks for the complement and the support she gave at the time. Really I couldn't be here without all the support I have received. Thanks. And onto the next phase....