I got a phone call while at work Monday afternoon from the daycare. Just an informative call this
time (usually they are telling me to pick up my sick/injured baby). Alex had bitten a "friend". My heart sank. "No big deal," the girl said, "she didn't break the skin or anything, just wanted to let you know". Apparently she was playing with a toy and a "friend" was leaning on her and trying to swipe it... she bit him/her on the arm.My immediate instinct was shame. She's a biter. I'm a terrible parent. I planned to never tell you people, ye of the blogosphere, lest I sully an almost spotless record of my angel being an angel.
I pictured two possible scenarios in my head...
1) It's like freakin' Lord of the Flies in that room with a yellow door and the kids are left to determine the social hierarchy through force. It's bit or be bitten.
2) All those times I worried that the "biters" were biting my baby, that the "mine!" kids were teaching her to scream MINE!, that the little monsters were ruining my daughter... she was the one biting and mining and being a bad influence. Where did I go wrong?
Then I did some reading. It turns out toddlers bite. They bite for many reasons, including but not limited to frustration, teething, anger and a need to sense this new world with all of their senses. Most of the reasons for biting at this age (including trying to get some brat off your back before they steal your toy) are understandable and not evil. Which isn't to say that one can condone it...
So when she got home Michele and I separately sat her down and talked to her about it. Lately I have been getting down on her level and making her look at me so that I can talk to her. She looks at me with those serious little eyes and I know that she understands. I explained why it was bad and she said "yea". I asked if she was sorry and she said "yea". I asked for a smooch and she leaned in, mouth agape, and did the best she could. Finally I asked if she was going to do it again, and she said... "yea".
We'll just keep working on it.
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3 comments:
I have a friend whose 24 y.o. sister just bit her mom... that is when it is something to be sad of.
ok, so you have a "pica baby", good for her. Today she bit a balloon and the balloon popped. She looked sad and ashamed at the same time. I figured she was hearing the speech her parents gave her about biting. She took the balloon with much tenderness, gave it to me expecting the balloon could be fixed. I very sadly explained that there was nothing to do about it and she seriously and solemnly said:"bye bye boon."
So Wes, one more time you have to admit that as a father you are one of the best of the bunch. And as a proud grandma I say good for her for knowing how to defend herself. Teachers should have protected her from bullies.
Wes, you are a very talented writer! :D
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